


Depression Is

by HARU_Michan1991



Category: mental illness - Fandom
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Anxiety, Bad Poetry, Mental Health Issues, Pandemics, Poetry, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HARU_Michan1991/pseuds/HARU_Michan1991
Summary: A note about the struggles of life with a crippling mental illness.





	Depression Is

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: themes of mental illness and suicidal ideation. Please read at your own discretion.

Trigger warning: this post contains themes of mental illness and suicidal ideation. Please read at your own discretion.

Depression is:

Depression is a Void Monster inside your head. It is always empty, hungry and cold. It wants nothing more than to kill you slowly and devour you piece by piece to make Itself feel full (It never is). It robs you of everything you have until you are just as empty as It is, until you give in to It and wither away from existence. It's the (metaphorical) voice in your ear, whispering that nothing you do matters, YOU don't matter, that the world is better without you in it, you're alone and a failure and unworthy of anything good. It tells you not to turn to loved ones or ask for help because It thinks you don't deserve it.

Some days, the Monster is quiet... Letting in small moments of joy and accomplishment. Those good days feel like the first warm rays of spring sunshine on your face, after struggling through a long, bitter winter. They are precious and sacred.

Other days It howls in the back of your mind, demanding that you end it all. ("Just die already. It would be so easy! The pain and the numbness will finally be over. Your issues won't bother anyone you love anymore. Aren't you so very tired from this constant fight for existence yet? Just do it. Go ahead. You'll never have to feel anything again. It's not like you'll win against This anyways, so why continue struggling?")

No matter what, though, don't give into It. As much as the constant battle hurts, it's worth fighting. Defy It with every "little" thing you do. Treasure every single victory you claim against the Void Monster, no matter how small or insignificant the victory seems.  
Things like getting out of bed, brushing your hair, brushing your teeth, feeding yourself regular meals, making your bed, getting dressed, doing at least one small chore... We take those actions for granted and treat them like they're no big deal because everyone everywhere does them all the time... But treasure it when you succeed in doing them anyways, because doing them IS a victory-- an act of pure defiance-- over the Monster that lives in your head.  
Ask for help when It tells you not to or tells you you don't deserve help.  
Complete, or try to complete, an activity you started and used to love (read one chapter of that book you started reading months ago, add/complete one new thing in that craft project, etc)... Even if you don't actually compete the thing in it's entirety, at least you can claim the victory of Trying Your Best, and know that what you did has contributed to the good of your activity.  
These things seem insignificant, but they're not. They're the everyday first steps towards reclaiming your life from the Void Monster... And every single time you do these things, can only ever be a good thing.

I know the above seems insurmountable... Like a true Herculean Task. I get it, I do. It's something I struggle with everyday, and have done for... I don't even know how long. Please believe me when I say that the fight is worth it. Believe me, the little victories over the Monster are precious and worth trying to claim. 

And most importantly, IT DOES GET BETTER. So please, if you read this and are feeling this struggle like I am, don't give up. You're not alone, nor are you insignificant. You are a precious treasure who would be sorely missed if you died. You matter to me, and to a great many more people besides me.  
If you're having a moment where you just want to quit, to give into the Void Monster, please don't. Reach out to someone... Reach out to me! You are loved by people who want to help you, so please ask us for it.


End file.
